The Cannonball Read III - Osaka Slide: #2 - Oogy, The Dog Only A Family Could Love; by Larry Levin

Full Disclosure: My good friends at Hachette Book Group provided me with a review copy of this book, upon my request.  Special thanks go to Valerie Russo, for facilitating the procurement of this book.

Household pets are amazing.  They're resilient, they're cuddly, and they're capable of things that even you wouldn't understand.  (For the life of me, I don't know why my kittens nibble on the edges of books, outside of my theory that they are indeed trying to read them.)  The language barrier between an owner and their lovely companion is never a problem, as both understands the other through an evolving process of discourse.  Some pets pick up good behaviors, some pets pick up bad behaviors.  Put a pet with the wrong owner, and they would most likely pick up traits and commands that the right owner wouldn't exactly approve of.  Abuse a pet, and they may never trust a human again, thus leading to a long chain of shelters, aborted homes, and the growing probability of being euthanized, the ultimate sign of giving up on an animal.  However, not all animals who have suffered at the hands of cruelty are unfriendly "beasts" that will never have a home.  Oogy is living proof.

According to Larry Levin's chronology, Oogy was two months old when he was used as a "bait dog": easy competition to train up tougher dogs willing to fight.  The bigger dog presumably latched onto Oogy's face and shook him so hard he fractured his jaw severely and turned his face into a bloody mess.  After lackluster care at an emergency veterinary clinic that assumed he'd never have a home or survive to even have hope of doing so, Diana Klein rescued this dog and brought him to Ardmore Animal Hospital in Ardmore, Pa.  Once he was on his feet, the staff of AAH learned that Oogy, despite his rough and tumble beginnings, was still very much a love sponge.  He loved all, and all loved him, and even if he never found a home he'd always have Ardmore to fall back on.

Meanwhile, Larry Levin and his family were preparing to say goodbye to their family pet, a cat named Buzzy.  The day he and his two sons brought the cat to the vet's office, they met Oogy.  In customary fashion, he sniffed and licked and loved his way into their hearts.  They had found their new pet and they knew it was fated to be.  Oogy: The Dog Only a Family Could Love is a story of love and redemption, as Levin chronicles his family's adoption process (he and his wife adopted their twin boys, as well as Oogy), the daily routine around the house, and ultimately the process of getting Oogy adjusted to his new home.  Jumping back and forth between past and present, Larry ultimately weaves a tale of how where you come from doesn't always determine who you are.  It's the people you surround yourself with, the people you develop with, that truly make you who you are.

As a pet owner, and as a reader, I enjoyed this book immensely.  It's not a page turner, but that's not a knock against its natural pacing.  It'll take a little while to read it, but ultimately it's worth the trip.  Personally, I'd like to hear more about Oogy and would love another volume of Levin family stories to go along with all of the heartwarming antics of this extremely lovable dog.  For now though, I'd strongly suggest picking up Oogy: The Dog Only a Family Could Love.




Next Up: I am a Genius of Unspeakable Evil and I want to be your Class President by Josh Lieb

The Cannonball Read III - Osaka Slide: #1 - Let It Snow; by John Green, Maureen Johnson, and Lauren Myracle

It's time to start The Cannonball Read 3, lit freaks!  How do you know when it's time?  It's simple:  when you see Vin Diesel up on your screen, you know it's time for another CR3 review!  Whether it will be this static image of Vin or different images of different roles he's played, I do not know.  (But I do welcome input.)  Anyhow, let's get things started off nice and easy with some Holiday Romance!

Teen literature is a genre that I should have practically overgrown by about a good eleven years (eight years in the literal sense).  Yet somehow when I found An Abundance of Katherines by John Green, it connected to the younger me instantaneously.  His stories of teenage boys fixated on quirky girls for some reason or another, along with the 4-ish star reviews for each of his books made me more interested in reading his works, seeing as I was one of those boys and he must have been too.  I came into reading Let It Snow: Three Holiday Romances with expectations that I would love the Green story but not care for the Johnson and Myracle story.  What I left with was exceeded expectations, and only in the best way.

The basic premise of Let It Snow: Three Holiday Romances is a simple one: three stories of teens in love at Christmas in the same North Carolina town.  Three different authors use the same character set/setting, and as each story progresses, we're introduced/re-introduced to characters that will become part of each story.  Some characters are mentioned off hand, some interact with other protagonists, and others are just a constant part of the background moving the plot along. Basically, this plays like an American version of Love Actually that takes place during the course of one evening.  (Except in this case, it works beautifully.  Take THAT "Valentine's Day"!)

We start off with Maureen Johnson's "The Jubilee Express"; a story involving a girl whose parents are in jail (for rather ridiculous, non violent reasons), whose boyfriend is rather distant (and an overachiever), and whose trip to Florida turns into a trek through the snow with some guy she hardly knows.  Ms. Johnson has the unenviable task of building the blocks to the world we're about to spend a good portion of time in and she does it wonderfully by making us tag along with a girl from Virginia.  Just like her, we're new to town and we're learning the lay of the land through the people we meet.  Eventually, Jubilee (Johnson's pensive protagonist) is stranded in said North Carolina town and meets Stuart, a local with a broken heart.  Through their trek in the snow to his house, she begins to think things through with her current relationship as she figures out what to do next.  "The Jubilee Express" surprised me, because I thought I'd have a hard time identifying with a young teenage girl and her relationship woes, but I actually found myself somewhat invested in the outcome of her story and enjoyed it quite a bit.  Jubilee isn't too witty or hip, she's just a cut above the rest, and the only problem is that the ending seems a little too rushed.

Johnson's set up leads to what I feel is my favorite story of the collection (no, not due to personal bias), John Green's "A Cheertastic Christmas Miracle".  The train Jubilee came in on was also carrying fourteen Pennsylvania cheerleaders on their way to a competition.  Stranded with nothing to do, they decided to go into a Waffle House to warm up/keep limber.  This pleases young Keun, the acting manager at said Waffle House.  It pleases him enough to invite two separate groups of friends to join him in Cheertastic bliss: a group of rowdy college guys and our protagonistic trio (Angie 'The Duke', JP, and Tobin).  There's a catch though:  only one group of friends can stay, and whoever has the Twister board has the power.  As if that weren't enough, the roads are crap and our protagonists end up having to walk to the Waffle House, avoid a pair of evil twins, and ultimately confront some feelings budding within their group.  Much like in An Abundance of Katherines, Green displays that he knows how to write humorous characters with introspective bents that happen to be falling in love.  And when his characters fall in love, it almost always turns out to be extremely sweet.  The romance in this story is only matched by the humor, which basically sums up Green's contribution to literature at large.

The final story, "The Patron Saint of Pigs" by Lauren Myracle, ties everything (and everyone) together into a pretty adorable ending where every couple we've encountered ends up at the same Starbucks, but not before a mini-adventure of self discovery.  One of the baristas at this particular coffee shop, a girl by the name of Addison (aka Addie), had promised her friend that she'd pick up a Mini-Pig that she adopted through a local pet store.  This, of course, had to be the day after Christmas, whilst enduring the fallout of both the winter blizzard and a break-up between her and her boyfriend (now ex).  All the while, the Universe seems to be sending her messages that she's a little too self involved and needs to put it all on hold for others.  As she treks to get the pig and sort out her cosmic destiny, she learns quite a bit and ultimately changes for the better.  What's particularly unique about this story is it seemed to have a sort of Christmas Carol vibe to it, seeing as while Addie is running one uber important errand, she runs into people indirectly trying to help her change. Although the ending is a bit of a stretch to have everyone in one room, I'm not going to argue it because books of this ilk require the amount of suspension of disbelief.

This book was an honest surprise that comes of sweeter than a "Holiday Romance" novel has any business of doing.  As I'd mentioned before the ending is rather serendipitous, but if there were a time for serendipity it may as well be Christmas.  Each story clocks in at about 100 pages and change, and the prose is a breezy read for those who want a little holiday cheer.  I would go as far to say that these three writers have made me hope that for every Mormon Mom with a wet dream, there are at least three of these whip smart writers to take her down and show us that not every teenager is a clumsy idiot who's waiting for someone to dash them away.

 Next Up: Oogy: The Dog Only a Family Could Love by Larry Levin

 

The Cannonball Read III (aka The Cannonball Read: Osaka Slide)

As anyone who's followed me over from the early days of Mr. Controversy knows, I was once involved in a reading race known as "The Cannonball Read".  This race was conceived as a way to help a Pajiba commenter/light of life/warrior queen against Cancer pass her time by reading books to best a fellow Pajiban.  That woman, Ms. Amanda Amos, aka Alabama Pink, lost her battle with Cancer in 2009 and was mourned by her fellow posters.  The Cannonball Read is now held in her honor, scaling back its initial "100 books in one year" criteria to only 52 and making a donation to her child's college fund for every person who crosses the 52 book threshold.  That said, Ms. Pink wouldn't want me or any other Pajiban to make this into a sob story.  Her memory lives on in this healthy competition to promote literacy and remember a friend/acquaintance who has passed. 

Unfortunately, due to a mishap around the time contestants were entering (I didn't read the requirement that I had to email the person running the race, so I thought a simple "I'm in" comment would have done it) I was not entered in last year's Run.  However, due to whatever force in the Universe you want to attribute it to, I've been able to Vin Diesel my way into the new run.  (Which connect the header graphic and title to the latest run, seeing as it's the third and Diesel appears at the end of the Third Fast and Furious film, albeit for a cameo.)  Rest assured, this is no cameo.  It is officially on, and while I've volunteered for a "Half Cannonball" (half of the 52 books), I have designs to crush the 52 threshold.  It's going to be fun, and I might even get myself published on Pajiba yet again!  But most of all, it helps validate my literary addiction by making me read, as well as helps me write by keeping the story centers of my mind sharp.  So with that, I say let the reading begin!

With that, I am set to announce that the first review will be one that is rather atypical of my usual tastes.  With that, I give you the first book of The Cannonball Read: Osaka Slide...

Weird choice, considering my tastes and all; but you TBK readers should be able to pick up on why I chose this selection.  For the rest, all will be explained soon.  Until then, keep turning those pages!

2011: The Year I Write/Sell/Pimp A Book

2011 is here, and with all of the celebration and the hoopla out of the way it's time to get back to business.  Serious business.  The business of literature, particularly reading and writing it.  You see, I have until February 28th to finish a publishable first draft of "The Collegiate", my National Novel Writing Month winning novel.  (Otherwise my free proof copy from CreateSpace expires and I'll have to pay for it myself.)  This leaves me with about 2 months to revise/fill in story gaps/nurture the individual story arc as well as world build for the overall story arc.

If it were up to me, I'd probably stop reading altogether for the next two months and just hardcore focus on the book.  But it's not up to me, because I almost always have that inner drive to read something new during the course of reading whatever book I'm currently on.  So you'll still be getting review fixes, but be warned that some writing posts will be thrown up as well.  (Also, I'll be writing about owning an E-Reader from time to time, seeing as I received a Nook from this past holiday season.)

In the meantime, expect a review soon on a book I normally probably wouldn't read (damn my newfound fandom for John Green), some E-Reader Chronicles, and posts on how NaNoWriMo consumes a soul long after that Nov. 30 deadline.  Happy New Year all!

(One last note, that graphic isn't mine.  That belongs to Ms. Debbie Ohi.  Her works can be found here, and throughout the Webs.)

"I'm Dreaming Of A Black Christmas" by Lewis Black

Usually New Years is the time of the year that we associate with personal reflection, but lucky for us Lewis Black doesn't wait until a specially sanctioned holiday to bitch, gripe, moan, and ultimately come to a sober and reasoned understanding (full of sound and fury) about just what the Hell is going on.  I'm Dreaming of a Black Christmas proves this, and it proves it with style and substance in a neat and tidy 192 page package.  There is no ribbon, there is no bow, there isn't even wrapping paper to cover this gift.  Because Lewis Black saves all of his time and energy for his thought processes, and delivers us the gift we all could probably used at the end of this 2010 we've all had...the gift of rage.

I'm Dreaming of a Black Christmas gives us not only Lewis Black's feelings on the holiday (less greed for ourselves, more charity to others) but a chronicle of his usual Christmas routine, as well as a lot of self reflection and self analyzing anecdotes that tie into his usual stops and actions during the Holiday Season.  I would even dare say that Black's writing shows us more of his personal psyche than any of his stand up bits ever have.  (Note: I have not read either Nothing's Sacred or Me of Little Faith, so I'm not sure how much of a better, more comprehensive job they've done encapsulating his life, but after this book I surely will find out.)  Married young, Lewis thought he was having a child with his wife...until it turned out she was carrying someone else's little bundle of joy.  For him though, it was a bundle that would explode into divorce, and a lifelong aversion to commitment and fatherhood.  However adverse he is though, he enjoys the fact that through his friends and their families, he has a brief moment where he can feel a party to the life he wished he could have had, if only he'd met the right girl.  It is with that penultimate realization that Black realizes the true joy of Christmas, which is gathering around those you love and those you care about, if only to enjoy a few hours of uninterrupted, unspoiled joy and love.  (Also, as a bonus section, Black recounts his USO tour with Robin Williams, Kid Rock, and Lance Armstrong.  Trust me, it's as good as it sounds.)

Lewis Black is the perfect example of the dichotomy people should embody:  through the love of family and friends, we enrich ourselves; but we must also enrich ourselves by scrutinizing things and demanding more than we are usually given by the world.  We have to be pickier, but more generous; more compassionate, but much more abrasive; a little kinder,  but a little crueler at the same time.  Ultimately, we must be peaceful people, but allow ourselves to fight the right battles for the right things and stop being the sheep we choose to be on a day in/day out basis.  Of course, I'm reading much more into the serious angle of the book and completely underselling its humorous elements.  Yes, Lewis Black rants in his trademark dark style.  Yes, he makes points and laughs at certain figures in our lives that we take as punching bags.  Most importantly, he makes us laugh in a way that inspires us to be better.  Not because we can, but because we must.

As the last book I've read in 2010, I can easily recommend Lewis Black as a cap off to 2010, as well as the perfect way to start 2011.  You're going to be looking back on the recently passed Holiday Season anyway, you may as well do it with the Host of Christmas Fury.  Happy New Year, everyone!  Good reading to you all!

The Twelve Days of Christmas - Library Edition

Well folks, it's Christmas time again.  As such, it's a perfect time to give (or receive) books that'll help you kill some time, should you ever be snowed in.  With that in mind, here's 12 books that you should be requesting from your local Library, or purchasing on Amazon.com.  (*hint hint* Use the links I've provided in my Bookish Kind reviews to order your friends and family some quality reading material, and kick me back some money in the process.)

On the first day of Christmas, my Librarian gave to me... A vampire plague to wipe out NYC

On the second day of Christmas, my Librarian gave to me...2 Gentlemen of Lebowski

On the third day of Christmas, my Librarian gave to me... 3 Red Lobster glasses

On the fourth day of Christmas, my Librarian gave to me... 4 Spears of Destiny

On the fifth day of Christmas, my Librarian gave to me... 5 Brakebills Students

On the sixth day of Christmas, my Librarian gave to me... 6 Secret Successes

On the seventh day of Christmas, my Librarian gave to me... 7 radioactive golden ingots

On the eighth day of Christmas, my Librarian gave to me... 8 fearful patients

On the ninth day of Christmas, my Librarian gave to me... 9 nymphos clawing

On the tenth day of Christmas, my Librarian gave to me... 10 Bennett Children

On the eleventh day of Christmas, my Librarian gave to me... 11 Vamps for Lincoln

On the twelfth day of Christmas, my Librarian gave to me... 12 Katherines dumping

That said, Merry Christmas to all, and to all turn the page.

"Toys" by James Patterson & Neil McMahon

Full Disclosure: I was given this advanced review copy by Hachette Book Group.  I wasn't paid, unless you call giving me a free book paid.  I would like to thank Brad Parsons over at Hachette for providing me with this and two other Pattersons that will be reviewed in the near future.

This is not going to be a happy review, nor is this going to be one that I think will turn out all that positive.  Which saddens me because I love James Patterson's writing, and find him genuinely (and consistently) entertaining.  His detective novels are aces, and I'm eager to dig into his Maximum Ride series and some of his other stand alone works that span other genres.  The man has talent, he's a personable figure, and he's a stitch on Castle.  All of this ass kissing has a purpose kids, I promise you.  It's to soften the blow I'm about to partially strike against a favorite author of mine.  I'm mostly going to roast the other guy though, because I KNOW in my heart and mind that James Patterson couldn't deliver a book as disappointing, as derivative, and as weak tea as Toys on his own.  Someone else had to have frakked it up.  And that someone is Neil McMahon.

Toys takes us to the far flung future of 2061 where people are basically separated into two castes: Humans and Elites. Humans are just like you and me, born after a nine month incubation period, normal abilities and such.  Elites, however, are born after two years in an artificial womb and endowed with super strength, speed and mental abilities.  Basically, it's Gattica on steroids.  One such Elite, Hays Baker, is our protagonist who, (MILD SPOILER ALERT) as it turns out, is a Human cut to look like an Elite.  This "betrayal" busts him down from top cop at the Agency of Change to fugitive on the loose.  As he goes on a journey to clear his name and stop the Elites from killing himself and every human on the planet, he cuts through swaths of Sci Fi cliches, action sequences, and pre fabricated twists that make this book seem more Human than Elite in its own right.

This book may as well have been titled "Humans Are People Too", because we see Hays go through the "Disgraced Hero" story arc that some of you may have heard of before.  Ok, you DEFINITELY have heard this story before.  As a matter of fact, there's one such story that this whole book seems to recall in my own Human brain.  This little film/short story you may have heard of called...Minority Report.  Yes, they rip off that story, as well as Total Recall in this book; which is meta-humorous because they mention Philip K. Dick's name in the story, as if to absolve themselves of cribbing his past works.  (While we're at it, parts of this book has hints of A.I. (creepy kid dolls) and Children of Men (there's a sequence involving British hooligans and Molotov cocktails chasing a car) thrown into it as well.)

As if that weren't bad enough, the writing is littered with too many "Is that what they were called?" or "That was from back then, wasn't it?" references.  The constant recall of our modern times in this futuristic tome do not ground the story in legitimacy, but show us just how far fetched it really is.  They didn't look to the future for inspiration, they just took a couple tropes of future life (haves vs. have nots, over population and global warming, Fascist utopia on the decline) and they grafted modern faces onto them.  Basically, if they were to constantly refer to the the Converse sneaker scene from I, Robot throughout the whole picture, it would be similar to this book.  And be warned, there is some clumsy, teenage written smut in this book.  I enjoy literary sex as much as the next person, but there's a reason you don't read about that much sex outside of Harlequin's "distinguished" library...it's hard to write a sex scene without it being cringe worthy in its description.

I love, love, LOVE Patterson's work in the Cross and Bennett series; and I have several other collaborations of his on my shelves waiting to be read.  The key to picking the right collaboration is to pick the right collaborating author.  Patterson works well with Andrew Gross (Read "The Jester" if you haven't already!) and Patterson works well with Michael Ledwidge (I'm dying to read "Tick Tock").  But ultimately, Patterson works best on his own.  It's sad to say it, since I don't know much about the man's writing, but Neil McMahon is only further proof of that very point.

Get Toys from the library if you have to, simply because it feels like the Third Act picks up and the ending leaves it open for a franchise (which felt like equal parts blessing and curse), but the Third Act doesn't make up for the lame First Act and the weak Second Act.  I guess my thinking is too Human and not Elite enough to "get" this book, but if that's the case then Human I am, and Human I will be.